The following is a transcript of Episode 70 of the Identity/Crisis Podcast. Note: This is a lightly edited transcript of a conversation, please excuse any errors.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
Hi everyone and welcome to Identity/Crisis: a show about news and ideas from the Shalom Hartman Institute. I’m Yehuda Kurtzer, president of Shalom Hartman Institute North America. We’re recording right smack dab in the middle of Hol Hamoed Sukkot, the intermediate days of Sukkot. Our show tends to follow the news cycle, which means that overwhelmingly, we take on topics that have a significant political resonance in the Jewish community. Even though our topics are about Jewish news and ideas, there’s another calendar to watch, to shape the agenda of what we should be talking about in Jewish life. And that is our liturgical calendar. The month of Tishrei, which we are right in the middle of right now is the kind of, I don’t know, it used to be called “sweeps week.” I don’t think that still exists in the television world – is “sweeps weeks” for congregations and for rabbis Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the major days in which the American Jewish community shows up if, and when they do at synagogues this year inside, outside, and online. Followed by Sukkot, which is a major undertaking for rabbis, for synagogues, and for many Jews and Jewish communities.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
And we are on the verge of what is widely considered, for by many rabbis, exhausted rabbis, the best month of the Jewish year Cheshvan, which is the month that follows Tishrei. And rabbis finally get a break. So I’m interested in talking to rabbis this week about challenges of the pandemic. Rabbis who are involved in building communities that are premised on community and on singing and rabbis as human beings who are involved in all sorts of interested, complicated life transitions in this time, like the rest of us responsible in many ways for the spiritual and communal lives of Jews and Jewish communities, but also citizens of the Jewish people in the same regard. So in that respect, I’m excited to bring on board two friends of mine and really special rabbis Rabbi Annie Lewis and Rabbi Yosef Goldman are the rabbis of congregation Shaare Torah in Gaithersburg, Maryland.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
They are co-rabbis of this conservative congregation. They also happen to be married to each other. And that’s part of the story that we want to tell here. I’ll just also acknowledge Rabbi Annie Lewis is a David Hartman fellow at the Shalom Hartman Institute. Rabbi Yosef Goldman was one of the directors and is a creative advisor for Hadar’s Rising Song Institute and a leader in the field of Jewish music. So they wear a lot of different hats, but let me start with this, you started new jobs and moved during a pandemic, taking over a new congregation. And now you’re right in the middle of things. So first of all, thanks for being on the show this week, but tell us how you’re doing, Annie, this is a crazy undertaking.
Annie Lewis:
Baruch Hashem. It was a gorgeous day in Gaithersburg. A rainy, beginning to Sukkot, but we’ve been basking in the beauty of our new Sukkah and our new community. It’s been a wild ride and one that’s been filled with challenges and with a lot of joy. One of the things that’s been so amazing when we arrived to our new community in July, it was that time in the pandemic, a little bit of a lull, where we were unmasking, where we were singing together in community and gathering again. So it felt like a powerful time to arrive and to start to form connections. And we’ve stayed together now with masks back on, but we’ve been able to sing with our community. So that’s been one of the biggest blessings and after a year and a half of not being able to do that, still get verklampt and moved and overjoyed, but we’re in a room or outside with a group of people singing together. It’s pretty magical.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
I do want to come back to the music and singing piece, but Yosef for you, your transition here also is that Annie was a congregational rabbi just prior. And I think you’re coming in as co-congregational rabbis, also its own professional transition for you. So, so what’s the last couple of months been like for you?
Yosef Goldman:
I came to Shaare Torah after two years out of congregational life. We came into congregational life at a time that there’s a lot of need for rabbinic leadership. The interesting thing is that what the need is, is shifting in real-time, we had a wonderful founding rabbi in our congregation for about 20 of the 25 years of the congregation’s life. There were two years without a rabbinic leadership when they were searching for the right next leader. And over that time, the lay leaders took on leadership, whether it was in the davening or checking in with people, relationally taking on roles that were different from how they related to the congregation before and us coming in and figuring out our place in lifting up the leadership and partnering with them. It’s a work in progress and it’s been really beautiful, but it has definitely been all at once coming in with the Chagim so early and figuring out a plan for the high holidays and then figuring out plan B and then figuring out plan C and implementing it along with all of the lay leaders and wonderful staff that it took to make this new hybrid last-minute plan happen, which I think is part of what it’s been like for every congregational rabbi this year.
Yosef Goldman:
Even if they’ve been in their congregations for a lot longer than two months.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
I love that comment about, you know, the fact that the community suffers for two years without rabbinic leadership – and you didn’t just lose a rabbi, you lost the founding rabbi from not mistaken -and it was like the rabbi got promoted to the big leagues. This is Rabbi Jacob Blumenthal who’s now the head of the United Synagogue and Rabbinical Assembly in the merger – previous guests on our show. So it’s, those are big shoes to fill, but I like the idea that, you know, your goal is not: reenter in the same role that the rabbi was in two years ago. It’s actually figuring out what did the congregation learn in a two-year hiatus that actually, you know, and obviously there are going to be pieces – what the congregation learned is that they need the rabbi to do X. But they also might’ve learned, no, we actually could do Y and Z and the rabbi doesn’t want to ultimately come in and displace those activities. So, so maybe you can give me an example or two of X. I think it’s a powerful message around leadership transition.
Annie Lewis:
One of the ways that we were able to figure out the holidays we created multi-access services with a service in our sanctuary slash all-purpose room indoors with a tent in the parking lot. And also our traditional service was available on zoom, but we were able to keep our lay-leaders engaged. We had a davening team. So we were meeting together masked in our basement, you know, after our kids were asleep upstairs, weekly, to get ready, to sing together, to plan family services. And we were able to offer a sunrise service in the tent, as well as family services in the tent and to keep our lay-leaders and davening leaders engaged, but to work together, to support each other, to pick tunes that we would be introducing and all the different services and, and coming back to. So that was one of the ways we’ve really been, been working to strengthen our davening team.
Yosef Goldman:
More generally to the previous point, there’s a rule of thumb for rabbis new to a congregation that you are the change in the system to be sensitive to the fact that your presence is already disrupting the equilibrium that you’re stepping into and to pace yourself with the change that you’re introducing. And in our conversations with rabbis that are starting this year, there is no default. There is no normal. Everything is, has been disrupted. There is constant change, which means that both need to be mindful of bringing some sort of rhythm and normalcy, but also the rate of change that you can bring in an institution is very different.
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Yehuda Kurtzer:
It was palpable in my community here in Riverdale, where, you know, last year, last year was like, whatever you can get out of the High Holidays you could grab and get. We had these shortened services in multiple tents around Riverdale There was coordination through the synagogue, but it was kind of like a little bit of a wild west, a little bit of, we want to make sure you do just enough that people will feel like they went High Holiday services, but then go home. This year was an interesting transitional year because there was a federal instinct. How do we bring everybody back together to some sort of shared experiences? And at the same time recognize that like a lot of stuff was flowering in this community that wasn’t possible before. So in a nice way that they managed it in our community was they moved all of the outdoor services to the same block, which was the same block as the synagogue so that the clergy could actually circulate between the different ones sometimes in order to be able to speak, give sermons, so everybody got the rabbi sermon.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
Sometimes that the rabbi or even cantor could be kind of sitting in the service and people would recognize each other. I was like, oh, this is really interesting because they’re trying to obviously reconstitute the synagogue experience, but they also don’t want to let go of all of the volunteering and all of the emergent differences. Like it’s okay for tent A and tent B to have different spiritual experiences, especially if they’re down the block from each other, because people could actually pick up and, and check out different types of options. So I’m curious for you both, because you’ve also, you know, you said you’re the change, but you’re bringing something new to the community that I’m sure it’s important for them to see you in action. How do you do that? How do you show up and provide them with like what you’re bringing and also validating the kind of flourishing of this new, new kind of spiritual life?
Yosef Goldman:
It’s a good question. First of all, I like the way that you framed it: “the federal instinct,” or we might say brov am hadrat melech. The way that Shaare Torah has done it in the past is rented out the middle school under a quarter-mile away and all of the auxiliary stuff in or around the shool. This year, part of the COVID plan ended up with everything on our campus, which allowed for us and other people to float in and out of spaces. You go to a family service and it’s just a matter of walking right in if you want afterwards to go into the main service or to the traditional service, which allowed also for us, Annie mentioned the sunrise service, just sit in the back and bask in the wonderful energy of those leaders or when we both took turns, co-leading the family service. When Annie was up there leading the family service, I could sit in the back and just watch her, watch her interactions with the leaders and watch the way that our community members were responding. It was also great to be able to sit several rows back from my own child and quietly observe her having a positive holiday experience without me meddling.
Annie Lewis:
But you know, one of the things we also heard a lot about the community had a lot of nostalgia and love for the hallway of the middle school, right? So the services would take place in the cafeteria auditorium cafetorium. But the hallway was where the action was. There would be, you know, display boards and a lot of schmoozing. So we were able to transplant the hallway to the lawn, but that was really important to us as we planned it with our team, that there would be a quote-unquote hallway space, a space for people to connect to schmooze, to come outside, to have a snack on Rosh Hashana and to see each other. And that ended up working really beautifully as well that people knew they could go to the lawn, you know, to catch up with their friends when they didn’t want to sit in services the whole time.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
That feels very thoughtful to me because that’s like the instinct might be as the rabbi: like I got to replicate the experience that I’m responsible for. But what you’re saying is no, the thing that people actually were coming to shul for was not necessarily the tefillah or the sermon, they just wanted to hang out in the hallway. That’s like a, that’s a, there’s a lot of humility involved in saying that, that they need that out of the synagogue as much as if not more than the kind of show that we’re putting on, on the bimah. Right?
Yosef Goldman:
Yeah. Just mentioned that our policy was anyone who was not vaccinated, could not be in the traditional service. That meant that there were a lot of people with young children, et cetera, who were not able to be there, but the people who wanted a particular kind of davening and were able to, to be in the room self-selected and even with singing the melodies, most of the melodies that were familiar to this congregation, our davening style is particular, and it was – going back to the change – it really set a particular tone. Rabbi Jacob, the shaliach tzibbur as well as the rabbi was a wonderful davener. And, and I think that we were able to kind of set a tone for what we hope that the prayer and music culture of the congregation will look like both in the range of, of how we use nusach, the types of melodies we choose, how we engage the congregation through melody. Annie mentioned the prayer team, you know, that, that work that we did with the prayer team through the month Elul and before, not just singing together to have a shared repertoire, but of learning to function together as a team sensitizing ourselves to what does it mean to be an active davener, even when you’re not the shaliach tzibbur, those changes, whether people in the kahal could articulate it or not. From the feedback that we got, I think it was, it was palpable.
Annie Lewis:
And I also want to lift up – so in addition to the davening, we wanted to make sure there were multiple ways for people to access Torah study. And we’re so lucky in our congregation, in addition to Rabbi Jacob, we have our fabulous sort of interim rabbi emeritus, Rabbi Mark Raphael. We have Rabbi Julia Watts Belser. Who’s an incredible scholar and teacher and Rabbi Julia taught a zoom-only space on Yom Kippur. Really powerful. And that we were able to offer more widely. All of our online programming was totally accessible to anyone who wanted to come. We also have another former pulpit rabbi and chaplain, Rabbi David Rose. He offered a Torah study on Sefer Yonah. So it’s been powerful as well to engage different teachers of Torah. And one of our congregants who was the chair of our, co-chair, of our rabbi search team, Adam Simon, who is the director of the AMI Foundation. There’s a minhag of having Adam teaching on the second day of Rosh Hashana. So we were able to hear a dvar Torah from Adam. So it feels important to us in our leadership that yes, we are bringing our voices and approach, but the way we lead is facilitated, you know, bring out the best, the Torah, the voices, the song and presence of, of many leaders. And we felt we were able to do that as well as still holding space powerfully and meaningfully for people over the holidays.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
So without personalizing it too much, it does seem to me that there, there might be a correlation between a facilitative approach to leadership and the particular challenges and opportunities that come with being a partner team that is sharing a job. And, and we’ll just put on the table, it’s hard to be a rabbi. It’s really hard to be married to a rabbi. And, and so both of you are rabbis married to rabbis in the same congregation. It’s telling right now, you don’t know this if you’re at home, but, but Annie you’re at shul And I think Yosef you’re at home. So you’re, you know, but you’re, you’re both the rabbis of the shul and your kids are part of that story. You alluded to being in the basement, preparing for services while your kids are upstairs sleeping. You alluded to seeing your kids as participants in the shul. So maybe share a little bit with us about like, what this is like, what is it like to be a partner husband-wife team who are rabbis together of a congregation? It seems kind of wild.
Annie Lewis:
Yeah. It’s been beautiful and powerful and challenging. And all of the things. You know, during the pandemic, we relied on each other for everything. But one of the things that we felt most lucky to be able to do was to sing together. So we started taking on a whole number of zoom singing gigs, as well as leading services for our congregation in Philly: BZBI. But I think that was our first foray into imagining what it might be like to lead together. And a piece of it also is like trying to build, you know, to do the work we love and to, to build a sustainable rabbinate. We had a period in our rabbinate and family life where we were in two different congregations.
Yosef Goldman:
Full time in two different congregations.
Annie Lewis:
And that was bananas we’re like, well, that, you know, that doesn’t work. And we, you know, we, we moved around and tried different things and I missed congregational life a lot. And, you know, in our new model, we’re both three-quarters time. So the congregation was looking for one rabbi and we came to them with this proposal. And they’re a congregation that is willing to take risks and to dream big. And we connected with each other. We did our entire visit and interview process over zoom which also involved a virtual piano party one night, which was almost like zoom karaoke. But with this community we’ve never met before.
Yosef Goldman:
They’re like, this sounds like fun. We want to have some fun over the interview. Let’s try it. We have no idea how it’s going to go, but we’ll try it. And everyone was game. It was, it said a lot about the congregation.
Annie Lewis:
We’ve been through some challenging times, you know, in our lives, like everyone with the pandemic and also with some health challenges. And we were in a place where, you know, we were not taking life or time or anything for granted, just grateful to be alive, to have this opportunity. And we wanted to create a life with joy in it. And we really felt a lot of that in the community. And that was important to us. And similarly, you know, we are working a lot, but we also want to make space and model that for the congregation as well in being three-quarters time, right. We’re not always both at everything. And we want to give permission to our incredibly hardworking, fabulous staff as well. Right? We want to give a different image. It’s the shemittah year and we want to lift up the importance of, of sacred rest and dormancy that is, is life-sustaining for us, for our souls, for communities, for the planet. Jewish professionals, Jewish communities, can tend to take on a lot of programming. Right? And we’re, we’re trying to learn for ourselves because it’s hard, you know, how to like integrate in, weave in the sacred pause and to partner with each other in doing that as a team and to model that out more widely and we’re learning, it’s hard.
Yosef Goldman:
Yeah, that’s right. We’re, we’re, we’re learning, we’re all learning together. As Rabbi Annie said, Rabbi Annie, as my wife said, that’s like code-switching. We’re trying to figure out how to address each other. We’re three-quarter time each, which both allows for flexibility for family life, for personal life, and for, let’s say our vocational life that exists beyond the congregation. Every synagogue grabbed by as things that they do that are not exclusively for their congregation, whether it’s work that they do with clergy of other, whether it’s interdenominational, inter-religious stuff, social justice work. That gives us more time for things that are also further afield that also augment our work such as writing or creating music and teaching about prayer and music in the DC area and beyond. It just allows for more of a fullness and integration. And I think that it’s also important that it’s not a work-life balance as much as it is fact that this is the fullness of our expression as rabbinic humans, that our rabbinate informs our parenting and our parenting informs our rabbinate and maybe not even informs, but they’re inextricable. When Zohar runs into the sanctuary with her friends and the gabbai gets them to open the Ark or Shir our three-year-old runs in and without being asked runs and opens the Ark and says, “I’m waking up the Torahs!” just as we’re about to do mourner’s Kaddish, it’s all part of one life.
Yosef Goldman:
And to go back to your original question about how having two rabbis might change the model of leadership, I think we are very intentional. We’re trying to be intentional about the ways that it’s a collaborative model of leadership that starts from our office. You know, there’s presence, there’s authority, but we are in collaboration with each other. And that then extends to how we engage with the professional staff and with the lay leaders, there is Halakhic leadership, but it, rather than a model of like, you know, the mara d’atra is, is also the sole authority on all things. And to this, we look to Rabbis Aaron Alexander and Lauren Holtzblatt at Adas Israel in DC who have been real mentors to us in thinking about this model of co-rabbi-ing even without the added element of, of also being married to each other.
David Zvi Kalman:
Hi, this is David Zvi breaking in here for a second before this last question, Annie had to leave, believe it or not, to run a puppet show, I think very much in theme with the episode. So the last question is just with Yosef.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
There’s two big questions here on the table: one is what is it like to share a job like this? Which you’ve alluded to. And the other is: what is it like to also be married, you know, married to the person with whom you’re sharing a job? Part of the reason I’m raising this is because it’s a conversation that should happen more in public, especially among Jewish communal professionals. Jewish communal professionals they’re oftentimes are the case that there are two partners who are working in and for the Jewish community and therefore have a shared set of interests and affinities. And at the same time, a sense of shlichut of service for the community that can sometimes have really consequential ramifications back at home. I think it’s, it is the case that oftentimes they’re married to each other. And I’ll say this personally, we experienced this in our house. I run a Jewish organization. My wife, Stephanie is a head of a Jewish day school. Oftentimes what ultimately happens is we come home tired from being professional Jews, and we just want to be humans. And there’s a weird way in which having to think about like the act of Jewish parenting as like a commitment equivalent to, or as important as maybe more important than educating other people’s children is a, it’s a complicated business, right? Because you don’t want to be the rabbi at home. That’s part of why I’m kind of flagging this question.
Yosef Goldman:
In rabbinic life, it is usually the case that they’re actually both a husband and wife leading a congregation just happens to be that.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
Only one of them gets paid, right?
Yosef Goldman:
Yes. One person is on the letterhead and the other one is at home. And so in that way, we’re actually building on a longstanding tradition of rabbi and rebbitzin leading congregation. It just happens to be that we both play both roles and that we’re both out front.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
I appreciate that. Let me wrap up with this for you Yosef, because you’ve had a professional life in congregations, but you’ve also had a significant professional leadership role in the field of Jewish music and elevating new Jewish music. You’re a songwriter. You produced an album, I think during the pandemic, if I’m not mistaken. And we have alluded to music throughout here, I am sure that anthropologically a year, a year and a half of not singing together with other people is damaging to all of us some way or another. I’m curious your thoughts on that, on how we ease our way back into that. It’s not the same on zoom. In fact, if you’ve ever tried to sing with people on zoom, it’s really hard. So maybe just share a little bit of wisdom for us on like, how you think about this. What’s been lost, what it means to kind of try to reconstitute singing and praying communities after this difficult time?
Yosef Goldman:
There are things that have been lost and there are ways in which those who were seeking communal singing as a spiritual practice, found something that we couldn’t have accessed as easily before the pandemic. It’s interesting that during the pandemic, I spent a lot of time actually teaching about singing niggunim and other forms of Jewish music as an embodied spiritual practice that is inherently prayerful doing that over zoom, which functionally meant that all of the participants were singing muted. Each one, singing a duet with me alone, at least what they were hearing, but it was an opportunity. I think a lot of people also in zoom prayer services in communities where that was a way that we gathered for prayer, a lot of people had a similar experience being able to hear themselves and take up a little bit more space than maybe they were comfortable doing beforehand and reckoning with their experience of singing as part of prayer, as a way of connecting to what it means for them to have an experience with their spirits through their bodies.
Yosef Goldman:
And I’m thinking about the times that I started emerging from the pandemic, I sing a lot with Joey Weisenberger and Deborah Sacks Mintz. For many years, we’ve been doing a concert led by Joey with the Hadar ensemble in Manhattan, around the end of December. And we did it this year. We did it in 2020. You know, we’ve got rapid PCR tests hours before, and we were many feet away from each other, but with, with monitoring and all this, we were able to really hear each other and sing with each other in real time. And it was, it was almost too much the, the intensity of the experience I, as a singer and musician, didn’t quite realize how much I was missing. Emotionally, I felt the longing for it. I felt that there was something missing, but I didn’t really recognize the immensity of it. I think that’s true for so many people all the more, so people that don’t spend time thinking about the power of song. And so I’m thinking about, you know, there are a lot of people that came to shul in person for Rosh Hashana and then chose to stay home for Yom Kippur.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
Because it was too much?
Yosef Goldman:
Yeah. The risk profile, between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur didn’t really change. I think a lot of people really valued being able to sit in their space and say on Rosh Hashana, sit with their cup of coffee and have a lovely prayer experience that they could move around, they could stretch, their cameras, what have you have more control. And I think that that’s a wonderful thing that we’ve gained for those communities. There’s a big divide now between the community that will do that and will not, but that’s not going away, but we haven’t fully come to terms with what is lost when we don’t have the fullness of community coming together and singing in the full range of the human voice. I think that’s going to be a lot of our work in the year to come is to remind people of the beauty and the richness of what happens when we get large groups together to sing and to recognize what is possible.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
In our little tent in Riverdale, where we did high holidays, we did everything outside. I felt as a singer, I led services also that you know, in previous years I was very mindful of the echoes, the sounds of being inside. And you kind of want to hear the crescendos and you want to hear the voices and you can’t really. We’re in a backyard. There’s no echoes. There’s, you know, you can hear the car backing up on the street. And we were underneath a flight path and I got to say spiritually, it didn’t matter to me. Just hearing it, leaving a little bit of singing, just hearing people, raise their voice in song in ways that they felt that they could because we were, everyone was masked. It felt like a, a bit of a grasping for that.
Yosef Goldman:
There were moments for me, leading congregational melody is where I would just stop singing and just, you know, it’s still be moving to the rhythm. I’d be, I’d be using my body to lead and move it forward. But just to listen and hear the sound of other people singing in the room and it filled me up.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
Just let people go. Yeah. I’ll just leave you with a little bit of Torah. And for us to wrap up with, which is Sukkot is really the holiday which is imagined biblically, especially by the rabbinic tradition as the time of immense crowds. It was one of three pilgrimage festivals, but something about Sukkot you know, Pesach, the whole idea of Passover is that each family would actually offer up their own sacrifice. So in some ways, even if you were going towards Jerusalem as part of a pilgrimage, you ultimately ended up on a hilltop slaughtering your own animal and eating and family. Whereas Sukkot is the real festival of gathering in a deep way. And that’s why you have these incredible rabbinic midrashim which talk about the walls expanding. One of the great miracles of Jerusalem was even when it was incredibly crowded, it never felt crowded, which is an amazing insight of Torah, right?
Yehuda Kurtzer:
That you will get the benefit of massive crowds and without that downside of being squished and squeezed and oppressed, and the Simchat Beit HaShoevah the festivals of the water drawing, which take place throughout the week of Sukkot are really just giant parties, where part of the celebration is abundance, which is matched both on the water side. If you celebrate water, you become a person who really celebrates rain, right? And you can sense abundance and abundance of the human spirit being in all one place. I think that’s kind of the wish out of this year, where we’re still not in a place where we can be in that packed, crowded, viscerally human experience. We’re scared of that. Many of us still. But maybe that’s the dream for Sukkot 2022, that it become a time once again of not just singing, but just the kind of crush of us being able to squeeze in one place.
Yosef Goldman:
Ken yehi ratzon.
Yehuda Kurtzer:
Well, thank you to my friends, Rabbis Annie Lewis and Rabbi Yosef Goldman for being our guests this week. And thanks to all of you for listening to our show. Identity/Crisis is a product of the Shalom Hartman Institute. It was produced this week by David Zvi Kalman and Alex Dillon and edited by Joelle Fredman with assistance from Miri Miller and music provided by so-called. Transcripts of our show are now available on our website typically about a week after an episode airs. To find them to learn more about the Shalom Hartman Institute, please visit us online shalomhartman.org. We’d love to know what you think about the show. You can rate and review us on iTunes to help more people discover the show. You can write to us with your opinions about what we did right, and wrong at [email protected]. And you can subscribe to our show everywhere podcasts are available. See you next week. Chag Sameach. And thank you for listening.
